My traveling partner for this trip was an old friend of mine, Mary Dang. And, well, while she's a great girl and completely trustworthy, she has her moments just like the rest of us. In particular, these ten of them.

Some of the below might not make any sense to you if you don't know us (which is probably good), and I'm not saying I didn't have moments of my own. But hey, like wiser man than me once said--if you can't laugh at life, you're screwed. If you can't laugh at yourself, you're really fucked.

So, without further ado. . . Here are Ms. Mary Dang's Top Ten Trip Moments:

10. Becoming a rabid fan of Lays Heinz Mustard-flavored potato chips (on sale everywhere in Greece).

9. Becoming a rabid fan of Lays Heinz Ketchup-flavored potato chips (also on sale everywhere in Greece--the Greeks love those condiments).

8. After being told at a really nice restaurant in Rome, Italy, that the venue was closed for another hour, staring blankly at the waiter and blurting out "but, its in the book!" Which, honestly, made no sense to either of us, but nonetheless forced me to get us out of there as politely and quickly as I could.

If a little tastes so good, then a lot must taste orgasmic!

7. Going to the bathroom outside in the bushes while stranded overnight at a completely closed and locked train station in La Spezia, Italy. This was a life-changing experience for Ms. Dang, and thus the legend of Princess Dribbles born. (I'll just stop there, and you should be thanking me.)

6. In a single sitting, eating enough gelato to kill an army of diabetics. We're talking gallons, in head-sized servings. See picture.

5. Being very sick for the remainder of the night from #6 and repeatedly swearing never to eat gelato again (which lasted all of two days).

4. Taming the wild "Bwack Fowest". (If you have to ask, don't.)

3. Interrupting my labored Spanish explanation of needing a noise piece replacement for my glasses to solemnly tell a very confused eyeglass repairman in Madrid that my glasses were muy mal ("very bad"). He gave up on me after that and showed us the door.

2. Developing a talent for pointing out pigeons that are particularly interesting to her for some incomprehensible reason. . .right as the said birds usually took particularly interesting dumps. Multiple times. Zesty.

And finally, the number one Mary moment of the trip. . .

1. Losing her bikini top in the Aegean sea and yelling obscenities at her completely innocent travel partner while two shocked old ladies, who happened to be wading by, stared at us. Crazy Americans!

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